#this was funnier to me than it should have been
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Jurassic Park through to Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom really did have the perfect explanation for why none of the animals ever matched with their real life counterparts. For years, this was the explanation used in every forum discussion (or argument) or dinosaur vs dinosaur discussion (definitely an argument at that point). And even though the wider public would generally take the designs that would come out of this franchise at face value by accepting these genetic chimeras as what the animals looked like, the explanation was still there as to why the designs would not match if someone decided to look deeper into it. Then Jurassic World Dominion completely ruins that long-standing point with the Prologue:
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I kinda take any chance I get to bring this up tbh, because I actually could not help but laugh when I watched this prologue. For actual decades, longer than I have been alive, the explanation as to why the dinosaurs looked different was because they had missing genes filled in with modern animals (usually frogs, sometime other animals). And in under 5 minutes, that explanation was torn apart like a wet tissue.
The Ankylosaurus, Pteranodons, and Nasutoceratops are completely unchanged from the dinosaurs created by InGen, and the Tyrannosaurus was the exact same outside of a coat of feathers thrown on top. Not to mention how many species do not coexist in either space nor time.
What's even worse was the reiteration in Jurassic World on the fact that the Jurassic Park/Jurassic World dinosaurs were not the real thing.
" Nothing in Jurassic World is natural, we have always filled gaps in the genome with the DNA of other animals. And if the genetic code was pure, many of them would look quite different. But you didn't ask for reality, you asked for more teeth."
~Dr Wu to Masrani in Jurassic World
(btw this whole scene was great, tbh)
But what makes this even funnier as a whole, was that the prologue, as far as I can tell, was only made to set up a blood feud between Roberta/Rexy and the Giganotosaurus. I understand wanting to make something like that, I really do. However just making all of the designs we had seen before 1:1 (outside of what felt more like a bone being thrown to 'paleoaccuracy' with the feathers on the tyrannosaurus) to those explicitly stated to be inaccurate 'in the text' for decades.
I don't think this can apply as well to the BioSyn designs in text, since they *are* stated to be working with a 100% genome, so I'm not really going after those designs seen in the prologue, just those that were already shown to be made by InGen. I do wish there was an attempt to, at minimum, make the other 3 InGen dinosaurs we saw different from those seen in Jurassic World prior. Even if it was only to the same level as the Tyrannosaurus, that would still be some attempt at protecting the explanation, even if it would result in it just being weakened, but this prologue outright shattered it.
This isn't even me saying I dislike inaccurate designs, the Dilophosaurus was my absolute favorite dinosaur, and still is one of them today (Styracosaurus has become my favorite since) and that was because of Jurassic Park. "Dilophoraptor" is my username because one of my old OCs was a hybrid JP Dilophosaurus with Utahraptor (my favorite raptor at the time), Frill and all. I'm also a fan of the Sinoceratops design, even though I'm much more in the minority in that regard.
I just think that Jurassic World Dominion should have stayed the course with keeping that plausible deniability, even if this prologue wasn't shown in theaters, BioSyn having 'complete genomes' would also be going against this concept I think (unless it was shown in text that it was a lie, I think that would be an interesting choice for depicting BioSyn which has always been wanting to 'one up' InGen this whole time.). I love the plot in Dominion, I think the Locusts plot point was the most plausible direction a large corporation could take the genetic engineering that InGen wielded, and even the way they get the original big 3 of Jurassic Park was also completely plausible to me. But I cannot help but laugh when I think of this prologue and how many decades of arguments and discussions about these films and novels it just invalidated in roughly the first 4 minutes of the whole director cut film.
My favorite detail about Jurassic Park is that it has a baked-in justification for any and all retcons it might need to make due to paleontology advancing forwards.
Because there is not a single dinosaur that has ever appeared in Jurassic Park.
Not one. Not in the books. Not in the movies. Not ever.
"Now what John Hammond and InGen did at Jurassic Park was to create genetically engineered theme park monsters." ~Alan Grant
Grant says that in a moment of cynicism. It's part of his arc for the film. But it's not inaccurate. What Jurassic Park has, what it's always had since the very first novel, are "Mostly Dinosaurs".
"And since the DNA is so old, it's full of holes! Now, that's where our geneticists take over!" ~Mr. DNA
It's impossible to recover a fully intact gene sequence from an ancient amber mosquito. Cloning a pure dinosaur would have been completely impossible, and so the park filled in the gene sequence with whatever works. Frog. Lizard. Bird. Whatever they need to get the result they are trying to get.
Every single dinosaur is a chimeric beast made up of mostly dinosaur and a bunch of other stuff that some scientists thought would achieve the appropriate dinosaur-like result.
"Nothing in Jurassic World is natural! We have always filled gaps in the genome with the DNA of other animals. And if the genetic code was pure, many of them would look quite different." ~Dr. Henry Wu
Which, from a writing perspective, is fucking genius. Because now you have a preset excuse for each and every plot hole your movie has.
Like. Why don't the raptors have feathers? Because of the chimera DNA.
Why do dilophosaurs spit venom? Because of the chimera DNA.
Why do T-Rexes have movement based vision? Oh, they don't. But Rexy does. Because of her chimera DNA.
Why is the Spinosaurus so fucking big? Because of the chimera DNA.
Why are the velociraptors mislabeled? Because Hammond's a dipshit.
Like. I've always marveled at the way Jurassic Park started out by giving itself a blanket excuse to be wrong about every single thing it ever said about the central attraction of its franchise. It's honestly beautiful, and allows the series a degree of immortality well into the era where we know better about its animals.
#shut up me#decided to ramble way too much about this for like no reason#tl;dr the prologue was possibly the worst mistake the Jurassic Franchise has or could have made#yes that includes the humanXdinosaur hybrids#I actually want to see the humanXdinosaur hybrids used officially at some point#but at least i have Scorpios Rex to fill that void for now#Youtube
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Lazy Days
Twice Mina x Male Reader
4K Words
Content Warning: Smut, Fluff
Minors DNI
A/N: This is another request I received almost a month ago. I really hate that it took me so long to get to it especially because it isn't even that long. It's probably cause for the past few weeks I've been stressed and I've had bad headaches which really killed my motivation lol.
Anyways enough of my bitching, I really enjoyed writing this one cause Mina's been wrecking me lately so I hope you guys like it.
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"You let me win, didn't you?"
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"There's no way" You blink, your entire body running stiff as you watch the small pixelated character you created maybe four hours ago shrivel up and die in one of the worst ways imaginable. In the same instance you glance over to your girlfriend Mina, who's sitting right next to you on the couch. Although she doesn't look at you, you can see the smirk on her face and you begin to process that she just beat you. Again. "You've gotta be cheating!" You accuse, pressing the respawn button on your controller.
"No" She insists cutely with her whiny tone of voice "I'm just better than you" The simple shrug of her shoulders has you a bit salty.
It's been like this all day. You both had today off, so really and truly there was no better way to spend it than to sit around all day playing video games. Truth be told, you were never a gamer before you met Mina. When she moved in with you, she brought her console too and you slowly went from watching her play occasionally to playing with her and even more than her sometimes.
"Yeah right, one more game" You run a hand through your messy hair.
Mina loves how stubborn you are, she sees it as one of your cutest traits. She just knows that although you say "one more game" you really mean "we'll play until I beat you" and it's even funnier that you refuse to admit that part.
Sure enough you end up playing four rounds instead of the 'one' you spoke of earlier "Don't you think we should be doing something else?" Mina mutters, reluctantly pressing the button for a rematch when you lose again. She glances at the time, noticing that you two have been at this all morning and it was just bleeding into the afternoon.
"Like what?" You bite your lip subconsciously, something you always did when you were trying to focus.
"I dunno, you hungry? We could order something, watch tv, maybe go out later.." She suggests, but you barely hear any of it because not even a second after she finishes her sentence, you manage to finally beat her in the combat game.
"Ha! See? You're not better than me, look I just beat you" You stand up and point to the tv. Mina only puts her controller to the side and she smiles at you calmly, nodding. It doesn't really matter to you in the moment that you've played maybe a total of sixteen matches, four of which you actually won. You silently appreciate her for not bringing up that part either. "Okay, what were you saying?" You turn off the console and plop back down on the couch.
"Maybe" She looks like she's actually thinking for a moment, then in the same instance she kind of stops and she gets this look on her face. An almost devilish smirk replaces her pondering pout and you're almost immediately intrigued about what's to come "I should give you a reward for winning"
She only has to scoot closer to you and lean her head in a few inches to catch your lips on hers. You kiss her back, hands on her waist so you can pull her to sit on your lap. "What kind of reward?" You decide to humor her cause why not and she can't hide her giggles when she presses on your shoulder to get you to lay back.
"Just lay down" Mina's voice is so wonderfully soft, almost healing to your ears when she says the three words. You first prop one of the throw pillows up against the armrest and you rest your head against it. Still in your lap, Mina leans down to put her lips back on yours and you can't get enough of them. So smooth and tender as you make out in your cozy living room.
When Mina pulls away, she shuffles backwards a bit and with the space she has, she lays flat on her belly between your legs. It's a big couch so she's able to fit there nice and comfy, arms resting on your thighs as she tugs on the waistband of your shorts and you lift your hips to help her out.
"You let me win, didn't you?" You figure
"Well, how else was I supposed to get your cock in my mouth?" She teases, pulling the garments off your legs. Your cock springs free from its confinements, semi-hard from the bit of kissing you did earlier.
"You could've just a-asked—" Your tone of voice changes mid-way when Mina wraps her lips around your head, her moist inner cheeks wonderfully stimulating each nerve.
She releases you with a subtle pop then she curls her fingers around your shaft, stroking up and down. "Where's the fun in that" The way she giggles feels a little more sinister and it genuinely sends a chill down your spine as you grow harder and harder in her hands.
Mina leans over, sticking her tongue out to flick it against your tip "God" You bite your lip, forgetting to breathe while you make eye contact. It's like there's a greater force gluing your eyes to her making it impossible for you to look away. When she's got your cock at it's hardest—which doesn't take very long at all—she opens her mouth and takes you inside.
The descent is slow and easy for her for the first few inches. She starts to struggle the further she gets down and you're unable to focus on anything but the warmth of her mouth, the saliva coating your entire shaft and the tight squeeze her mouth gives your cock whenever she gags or swallows. It has your jaw clenching already.
You grasp your t-shirt in your hands then you pull it over your head, stretching the cheap fabric a bit because you were rushing. "Mina" You sigh, as she gets her lips to touch your base. Tears welled up in her pretty eyes. They threaten to fall as she holds herself there and the absolute clutch of her throat is nearly perfect.
First she has to remind herself to breathe through her nose before she comes up. Mina stops when she reaches the head then she plunges again, sliding your cock down the slot of her throat easier this time around. She manages to get herself in a rhythm, cheeks hollowed as she sucks you off, tongue dragging up and down the underside of your cock. "You're so good at that" You praise, lips parted as you take in the wonderful view.
Mina's so beautiful, you could spend hours just admiring her face, scanning each beauty mark and every subtle blemish on her porcelain skin. "So pretty" You whisper and she hums softly to let you know that she acknowledges your compliment. There's more you want to say but the words get caught up and stuck in your throat because she's got you speechless right now. As her eyes pierce through yours, you hope that she can understand at least a fragment of the love you feel for her in this moment. "I love you" You groan the confession like it's the first time you're saying it.
She comes back up, licking her lips as she wraps her hand around your base. She strokes you slowly and softly, that same shy giggle escaping her lips and you get high on it. "I love you more" Her tongue darts out to lick up the pre cum that's beginning to dribble down your shaft. Then she rubs the pad of her thumb in circles on your frenulum.
A moan escapes your lips and your body begins to squirm as she attacks the sensitive spot there. You have to bite your lip to stop yourself from whimpering. She fists your cock again, then chases it with her mouth up and down with the twist of her wrists.
You reach your hand out, running your fingers through her newly dyed ash hair and you brush it to the side when you notice that it was getting in the way. Her hand and her mouth moves together fast and you're not sure how much longer you'll be able to take it for. The way she can have your body almost trembling under her magical touch will always amaze you, no matter how many times she does this.
"M-Mina I'm close—fuck" You warn but she won't slow or stop. In fact, she's squeezing and sucking harder like she needs your load in her mouth as soon as possible. You know she'll swallow it all.
You end up biting into your fist, eyes squinting as your brows knit together right up until you cum. "Shit, I'm gonna.." Your cock pulses out the first few shots which hit the roof of Mina's mouth. She isn't at all phased by it though, in fact, she keeps her movements steady as she milks you for everything you've got, moaning eagerly at the taste. You finish it all off with a sigh and then she finally stops, taking you out of her mouth carefully so nothing spills out.
Mina opens her mouth, proudly showing you the flood of semen thats pooled up inside where it belongs. Then she closes her lips together and she stops for a moment before she gulps it down. "You're amazing" You pant, watching weakly as she climbs up your body so you're face to face. She smiles before connecting your lips and your hands go to the hem of her top almost immediately and you slip them under just to feel her soft, bare skin on your hands.
She breaks the kiss, then she pulls her top off and her petite breasts are finally free "These too" You pull at the clingy fabric of her leggings, hearing the light noise it makes when it snaps back.
"You ready for me already babe?"
"You know I am" a smile grows on her face as she stands up from the couch to shimmy herself out of them, her hips swaying side to side with a naughty purpose. Finally, she steps out of them and kicks them to the side "Wait, leave them on" she stops just as she's about to take her panties off. She's wearing this black lacy underwear that clings to her ass so beautifully, it'd be a crime to remove them when they look so good on her.
Mina only shakes her head, a chuckle escaping her lips as she straddles you again "You're such a weirdo" She mutters, not giving you the chance to respond because she's making out with you again. This kiss lasts a little bit longer because you want to take your time with her perfect lips, sucking and licking on them as it gets sloppier. She begins moaning into your mouth because of the pressure your hard cock provides while it's pushed up against her cunt. "Fuck" She curses, lightly biting your lip as she grinds her hips forwards.
She reaches down, kissing you harder this time as she slides her dampened panties to the side because she doesn't want to spend another second empty. Mina has to hover a bit as she grabs your cock to aim the head with her slick entrance but she's so soaked that it ends up slipping past. You try not to, but you end up snickering and she glares at you before trying again. This time she gets it in, you know that much from the first feel of her tight cunt gripping the head.
You both exhale deeply as Mina sinks herself down slowly, taking this opportunity to enjoy the stretch of your thick cock. When she's got you stuffed as deep as the position would allow, Mina picks up her hips and begins to rock forwards in slow motions. "So deep in me, it feels so good ah~"
The way Mina moves her body so smooth and fluid has you falling in love with her all over again. You let a harsh slap land on her round ass, hearing the sound of the sharp impact echo loudly in your living room. She yelps loudly, leaning over to hold herself up on your shoulders so she can move faster. Her warm walls hug you tightly, occasionally clenching when she closes the gap between you two. Your cock fits so perfectly inside of her, it's like you were made for each other.
"Mina" You moan once she begins to move her hips in a circular motion. It feels so insane that now you're gripping her ass tightly, probably leaving red hand marks on her pale skin.
"Like that?" Mina smirks, looking deep into your hooded eyes moaning when your cock brushes past her g-spot. She puts her hands over yours, then guides them both up to her perky tits. You feel her stiff nipples poking your palms as you take the initiative to squeeze and knead the soft flesh thoroughly. "God your cock—it's so" She moans again, throwing her head back so her hair flys out of her face.
This is the perfect visual. Mina's god-like body on top of yours, every dangerous and deadly curve of hers highlighted with the sheet of sweat on her skin. Her eyes closed and her mouth wide open as she moans about how good your dick is, how she can ride it all day long and how it's tearing her apart among another mess of words you can't really make out. You listen good and well to everything she's saying because she absolutely means it, you can tell that much from the utter lust in her tone.
Mina lets herself loose on you like she's been thinking about it all day, thinking about how you'll fill and fuck her with your large cock. You're only able to watch as the subtle indicators begin to show themselves. Like when her moans go up an octave or when her movements become less calculated and more messy and feral. You also notice the way she leans down, capturing your lips once more and you can tell it's a silent plea for you to do something.
So that's exactly what you do. You hold her in place by her hips and you begin to piston your cock into her, your thighs meeting hers to make this thick meaty slapping noise. She nearly screams, unable to focus on kissing you when you're fucking her like this. "Yes! Fuck- Harder!" So much raw force, it's almost punishing. However, your purpose wasn't to "punish" her, it was more so to reward her for everything she did beforehand.
She understands that.
When Mina buries her head into your neck, you're a hundred percent sure that you've got her right there. She breathes heavily into your skin, moaning and choking on her words with each deep thrust you give her. She hums loud and long "I'm cumming!" and then you begin to feel how tightly her cunt clenches and pulses around your cock as her wetness spills down your shaft. "Fuck- Yes baby!" She begins to shake, her body jerking and bucking in your grip.
With a long sigh, she stops calms down a bit, the aftershocks still causing her body to react occasionally. You give her maybe a second to recover before you slip your cock out of her and flip her so she's on her back. She's so out of it, she doesn't even realize that you've switched positions until you slide your cock back inside of her where it belongs. Mina gasps, feeling your cock reach different parts of her at this angle.
"I can't fucking-" What she's trying to say is that she can't believe that you're fucking her so good. Hard and deep. That's exactly how she likes it as you recall, and you've hardly even given her a moment to recover from the orgasm you just fucked her through. "Cum in me" she looks deep into your eyes when she says it and she's so serious about it.
You lean down, your temple to hers as you nearly fuck her through the couch. You're a little rough on her, you know that because you can hear the springs in the furniture starting to give. It's not really built for this kind of treatment but it's durable and it's been through worse than this.
The more your cock slides in and out of her, dragging all the way back to the tip only to bury itself into her again, the more animalistic you feel. It's the tight grip, her velvety walls and her hoarse voice moaning your name that's got you like this. You want nothing more than to empty your balls inside of Mina, fill her up and keep it lodged so deep that none of it spills out.
You barely even notice when you push her into another orgasm because you're too focused on that distinct feeling growing and burning like a hot ball of fire in the pit of your stomach. "Oh... I'm gonna cum" You grit through your teeth, voice rough just before you nearly growl as you cum again, shooting countless ropes of warm white into her stretched cunt. She gasps, legs shaking as you continue to pound deep and slow into her, making sure you get everything out.
"Yeah, give me everything baby" She coos, fingers interlocking at the back of your neck.
With a sigh your body finally relaxes and you put all of your weight on her body. When you're finally ready to talk after the long moment of silence you spend in your post-orgasm daze you lift your head and look into Mina's eyes. You know she's expecting your usual "I love you" after sex but instead you decide to mess with her a bit "So... pizza?"
She blinks "What?"
"Earlier you mentioned that we could order something and watch TV, right? I was just suggesting that we get pizza" She gives you an expecting look, like she's not going to give you a straight answer until you tell her what she really wants to hear "and I love you" You add on, leaning down to connect your lips with a grin on your face.
She can't help it when she smiles "Okay pizza then" she agrees.
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You begin to think that maybe it wasn't the smartest idea to order pizza right before getting in the shower because you're both just stepping out when you hear the doorbell ring. Mina wraps her towel around her body "Well you're gonna have to get it cause I'm naked" She nods to herself as if there wasn't a towel wrapped around your waist also.
"So am I?" You try to argue as she walks into your bedroom. Her calm silence says enough and you figure you should just get the food cause you definitely won't win that fight. When you open the door, the delivery guy looks at you a little weird but you still tip him generously and mutter a small "thank you" at the end of the exchange.
When you get back in your shared apartment, you place the pizza on the coffee table and you turn off the lights before you join her in the bedroom to get into something comfy.
"I can't believe you're making me watch this" Mina snuggles herself against you, squinting a bit to read the description of the show on the tv screen. You're cuddling and eating on the couch, yes the same couch you just fucked on, it's multi-purpose. You snicker at your own joke before realizing what she's just said.
"So you're genuinely telling me, you didn't enjoy the first season?" You ask, taking a bite of your pizza. It's only got pepperoni on it but it's a classic nonetheless.
Mina shakes her head "No I hated it actually" She corrects you, turning her head with her mouth open. You move your hand away, catching that she's trying to eat your food. She only whines, giving you those adorable eyes.
"There's like seven more slices right there, why do you want to eat mine" You point to it, nodding your head in the direction of the small table before you pick up the remote to play the show.
It's Squid Game 2 that you're watching as you allow Mina to take a rather large bite of your pizza anyways, despite giving her a hard time about it. "I didn't wanna move" She says as she chews.
"Sure" You scoff, acting like you didn't absolutely love feeding her. Just babying Mina in general is one of your favorite things to do with her. She knows that from the way you swipe off a bit of tomato sauce from the corner of her lip but she fails to bring it up because she too enjoys it.
See there's nothing better than a lazy day in your book. It may have been really unproductive, but sometimes a little bit of a recharge with the person you love the most is the little boost you need to make the most of the following week.
Lazy days are good days
#twice#kpop gg#kpop idol#smut#kpop smut#girl group smut#twice mina#mina twice#myoui mina#misamo#mina x reader#mina fanfic#mina smut#mina x male reader
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me, wearing a Re-Animator coat and shirt while in line for Record Store Day, to purchase Talking Heads Live at WCOZ 77: i feel like the only person not wearing a band tee or merch of some kind right now…
me: wait—this outfit is actually just a really obscure Talking Heads reference, if u truly think abt it
friend: what? how?
me: Dan has a Talking Heads poster in his room
friend: he WOULD have a Talking Heads poster
#Re-Animator#Re Animator#ReAnimator#Dan Cain#Daniel Cain#Talking Heads#Herbert West#Record Store Day#this was funnier to me than it should have been#dumb shit
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some quality content for the maxie lovers out there
#guys i swear i have more actual quality art planned. just been in a slump for a bit now.#i actually made the original version of this like 2 years ago#but decided to redraw it bc it was kinda old#i find this a lot funnier than i should but something about it will always be so funny to me#technically it should be RSE maxie bc hes the rocket fuel freak but too bad its ORAS maxie#pokemon maxie#pokemon#magma leader maxie#pokemon oras#nugget art!!
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you can't say i *didn't* follow the prompt (palette swap)
#bug fables#bugtober#fabiart#listen. i thought of this idea in my head and it was funnier to me than it probably should have been LMAO
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Why have you been thinking about that.
#panels#bonemeal says silly stuff#tim drake#dc#I mean I know WHY. it's just kinda funny#all his like other thoughts we've seen so far have been vivid day dreams and nightmares of worst case scenarios#(that he almost experienced irl!!!)#and he's also KINDA been doing the Everything Is Fine! but to a much lesser extent than last time#I dunno. it's much funnier for me cause like. we know it all ends up ok. (and cause im. so tired. I should sleep more)
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seonhee and sawashiro both being associated with purple's the most evil shit in the world now who the fuck am i supposed to put in my purple card holder
#snap chats#sorry guys im one of those girlies who are super into card holders now </3 esp the ones you can customize </3#highkey i got this cause i wanted to put my school id in it so i didnt have to take my wallet out every time i needed to get in my buildin#BUT ON THE LOWEST OF KEYS I GOT IT TO BE MENTALLY ILL TOO i was obsessed watchin people journal and make cute card holders#i dont get recc'd those vids anymore but i remember watchin em an bein like MAN i wanna do that.... thats so cute..#on the real i think card holder customizing's healthy for me. it helps me learn to use things i buy LMAO#CAUSE WITH STICKERS AND THE SORT I HOARD THEM AND NEVER USE EM#and i always get buyer's guilt even if it's something small so i just think. i have to learn letting go and things not being perfect is ok#YOU BOUGHT IT SO USE IT like those ishin colognes... like the scent'll fade anyway i should use them while i can...#as much fun and therapeutic I Think as this was tho i cant imagine having a need to get another card holder... tragedy..#regardless. this card holder's really cute </3 spoilers it's a kuromi one cause i needed more purple in my room i fuckin guess#the stickers were real cute.. also there was a lil baku... hi baku <3#which leads me back to my problem. '''''''problem''''''' yeah i dont even have a printer here but when i go back to my ma's i wanna be sick#walmart lets you get photos on that GLOSSY PAPER... tempted... anyway no listen to my non problems#cause in my heart i do associate kuromi with seonhee alright it just makes sense. PLUS baku and joon-gi#COUNTERPOINT. HOWEVER. there is no image funnier than slapping a depressed middle aged man who prob has a worryin body count#into a card holder decorated with hearts and sweets and bows with a big ass heart keychain danglin off it. like cmon#big brain move is to print out one pic each of em and just swap em out every other day LOOOL#i just want an excuse to show off the card holder.. i get why people have these now this was fun and cute....#ok bye i think ive been ill enough tonight#i thought i was gonna finish another comm but ☠️ ill just do them tomorrow morning they wont take long..
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for the ask game: LILAC CHARCOAL AND RASPBERRY
anon this is so sweet 😭
[ask game provided below for reference; if you'd like to play, please reblog from OP here:]
#anon i love this but i have a covenant with God so i can't kill Him with you#this reminds me of the time my brother lamented his atheism and my agnosticism on behalf of our religious mother. but i'm not agnostic.#so i clarified i believe in God and that's never changed. i just choose not to worship Him + I think there are multiple truths (incl. gods)#which is shorthand but I've never been able to explain it to others to their satisfaction and it isn't anyone else's business anyway#he thought that was MUCH worse and became so dramatic. he was genuinely so thrown. he fixated on the fact it's heresy.#which I didn't expect because like yes it's heresy but heresy is a doctrinal concept -- it doesn't have any intrinsic meaning.#and not to be dismissive but doctrine is fairly sequestered from God. It's functionally and historically a voidable social contract.#i was involved with the church/attended various bible retreats for several years before leaving. but I didn't leave over God lmao.#my institutional involvement was always contingent on its alignment with my own individual purpose/practice/rituals/bible study/covenant.#which church/community leadership knew and tried to triage in various ways but like. it's not hard to reject authority baselessly derived.#so my present relationship with God isn't any more heretical than it was when I practiced Christianity as a religion.#If anything I was maybe more heretical in funnier and more flagrant ways when I was practicing than I am now.#but anyway. my point is.#i wont help you kill god but I'm always here for heresy.#alternatively i also recommend either (1) listening to god is dead (meet the kids) by british india#which when engaged with meaningfully amounts to the same philosophical state of being as killing God#or (2) forming a reverse orphic mystery cult relationship with Him the way I did when from ages 10-14#in other words#we can either sacrifice God to the secular age like thomas jefferson and nietzsche#or we can obsessively study the bible @ the cost of enough sleep that we (in brief spurts) access the parts of us inclined towards prophecy#those are the only two approaches to god that I'm capable of partaking in with any sincerity or intellectual honesty#and I'm unfortunately very married to sincerity and intellectual honesty.#(i'm sorry for meeting your very nice compliments with a nonsequitur illustrating why i should live as a hermit in a remote woodland shack)#(but I suppose I'm not sorry enough to remove the nonsequitur from my response prior to publication. so. take from that what you will.)
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there's something in the water that's specifically affecting green haired princesses who have purple eyes and also bpd (momochi and hiyori)
#I think I was able to show a new side of myself this time >< Please give it a listen” and doing spells on cheers to bless their dreams#even though both of her songs seem to be angsty and about her family#meanwhile hiyori the bitch was like#like with momochi there was her tweeting that the time for dreams is over (and yakouka possibly representing her current mental health)#and for hiyori it's her mental breakdown in accept my love#and also them brushing it off like it's nothing#like when the teaser dropped momochi tweeted something like#Life isn’t all about fun. There’s times where you feel depressed and like you want to cry.#When that happens it’s good to look at me. Because I’m the one who shines bright like the sun☆#it’s good to look at me. Because I’m the one who shines bright like the sun☆#Listen to my songs and follow the productions I appear in—#Just imitate me and smile! Since I always have a smile on my face!"#like girl the song was you spiraling over your loved ones becoming independant and no one needing your love even though she accepted that's#now her only role in life (to love and be loved)#like no one was concerned??? esp with the contrast with fantastic days#there's something poetic about her feeling she's no longer useful and her regression when in !! she suddenly became nicer with no explanati#and also her getting 0 song event 4*s and that eden is no longer relying on her (legit did nothing important in most of the eden events)#including ss finals with the dumbass oracles like the story was fucking boring and gatekeeper legit got more importance than tori and hiyor#anyway happy bday to my beautiful princess with a disorder#they should lock momochi and hiyori in a room (they both would somehow take each other out even though momochi is built like a paper straw#and hiyori is not strong at all the heaviest thing she wants to carry is her chopsticks)#in an alternate universe hanae couldve been voicing momochi instead of yuu and it would make this post even funnier
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reading up on autism to figure out what the fuck is going on with me and making a list of personal pros and cons to figure out whether i should feel good or bad about it. as one does
pros: hyperlexia, deeply compassionate, talent for mathematics and the sciences/can do calculations of reasonable complexity in my head, visual hypersensitivity/decent artistic ability when replicating from still life/good at distinguishing subtle colors, acute hearing/good at identifying distinct sounds and sonic textures/deeply moved by music, can rotate some shapes in my head really fast i guess
cons: people can tell something is "off" about me in a fraction of a second and will be anywhere from begrudgingly polite to overtly hostile about it, terminal "not like other girls" disease/feeling of disconnect with existing in a feminine body, can pace for hours on end until my legs hurt, frequent crying & shutdowns, talk about myself and my interests extensively and can't seem to find a way to stop or better relate to others outside of mirroring them, productive work that actually *utilizes* my talents seems to only happen in increasingly infrequent bursts of hyperfocus, recurring identity issues stemming from a fundamental feeling of being born wrong and belonging nowhere, visceral hypersensitivity means i'm in pain from the normal functioning of my own organs for most of the day, people have compared me to sheldon cooper and elon musk, i am constantly begging for the sweet release of death,
#text#hmm. this post was funnier in my head#to be clear i am not one of those ''aut1sm is a superpower'' people and i'm aware that my ''gifts'' afford me significant privilege#but they also used to be things i liked about myself even when i was depressed#now that i'm anywhere from 3-5 yrs into burnout and can't rly *access* my gifts in the capacity i used to be able to anymore#it's rly hard to be positive about things. lol#i used to think that if people were going to think i was weird forever that i should at least be useful#which may not be possible to the degree it once was. and i realize was also a damaging and unhelpful mindset to begin with#tbh i'm rly jealous of the zoomers who seem to have more knowledge about/be more accepting of this stuff.#i think i was just in denial for years. but after looking into it more i'm more certain i'm aut1stic than i've been of anything in my life#which is significant considering the; yknow; identity issues. lol#it's kind of hilarious how many of my old text posts just scream ''undiagnosed aut1stic burnout'' in retrospect#sorry for all the behaviors and stuff. i love my mutuals but i think i have to be on this website less#while i figure my stuff out. i'll still check in but not as often#feel free to reach out in the meantime. i already miss a lot of my friends i lost contact with while going thru it <3#wow these tags got away from me. ok bye
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wtf is with chai rn
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one day ill post my pokemon games + spinoffs tierlist that im slowly chipping away at and have been since, like, june or july . but i dont think people are ready
#aria talkz#tbf 'Scar/Vi was actually pretty good' isnt an unpopular take but its a popular ''controversial''(?????) take.#Yes i know about the bugs and slowdown and memory leaks yes it sucks its still a lot of fun for me#And i love the story ( esp the dlc oh my god ) and how pretty the textures are . I do not care if you dont like it . OK?#that being said the kieran battle had such a massive slowdown for me it was literally going at like 5 fps#it was frustrating but also kind of funny. i am the only person i know who seemed to have that issue tho#+ “hgss isnt that good” is more common nowadays too. But putting scar/vi and like#xy and s/m above it is probably controversial#i am literally a 3d / modern pokemon game defender. except lets go and bdsp fuck those ones.#Like i love the 2d era dont get me wrong but the starts of all of them are pretty slow and without the early global exp share its a slog#my fave 2d game has and always will be bw2 btw and has been since i was a kid. started w diamond/plat/gen 4 and pkmn stadium#rosa is me irl and i constantly imagined myself in my mindscape literally AS her which is funnier realizing i had DID later down the line.#if you squint at aria my oc / sona you can kinda see remnants of rosa#mainly the twintail hair and the pink pokeball shirt.#anyways the backtracking in HGSS at the start is so fucking abysmal and slow it kills all momentum for me#which sucks bc i think i do like hgss despite my constant trashing of it its just so hard to care enough to get past the like first hour#But like modern pokemon games gameplay loop is so much more fun bc its less slow and grindy and i heart it...#Like honestly ? If u just added the QOL to the older games ? Theyd probably be higher than or at the same lvl as the newer games for me#i love BW2. I dont even think hgss sucks ass although there are many questionable decisions in it . Its literally just.#How slow + grindy they are and the fact that theyre older so they dont have the modern games QOL stuff#which mainly means Global exp share like really early or at the start of the game i love pc anywhere too but i dont need it as much.#its also why its hard for me to play pokemon-likes like cassete beasts bc they go off of old pokemon formula . so. grindy. Sucks#Should prob put legends arceus higher on that tierlist too bc im playing it again despite 100%ing the dex#i love love love making oc ''rp'' (??) savefiles in pokemon#and like. giving what mons i catch and how i nickname them thought in context of the oc or canon im playing as#i do it any time im not doing my first playthru of a game. do it w x y a lot bc theyre super easy to restart.#im doing it in legends arceus as well w mocha and thinking ab him and how hed adapt sm. i heart aus.#can you tell im autistic about pokemon .
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While I don't think that anyone needs to have like... a Deep Reason™ for liking the content they like, it's especially funny to me when I'm accused of being a predator or whatever in response to that one post because I'm one of those people who like, projects myself in the "victim" role (for lack of a better way to put it) if I'm reading fucked up smut or whatever because I'm one of those people who internalized and sexualized fucked up things that have actually happened to me.
#and I've been threatened to have my teeth bashed out multiple times because of that one post???#I don't know why that's such a go-to threat#but it's pretty hot ngl#which is probably not the intended effect#but i'm a freak in the opposite direction from what they keep accusing me of uwu#and i'm really only interested in people older than me so being accused of being. yknow. is particularly laughable#'ew this person likes shotacon they're obviously a predator' no. IM the shota#and obviously if you don't project yourself in to stuff at all#or project yourself into the opposite roll from me#its literally not a problem as long as its kept#yknow#in the real of fiction or fantasy or SSC roleplay with consenting adults#which you'd think should go without saying but yknow#*gestures to all of the discourse*#also also I dont actually even write fanfic so them accusing me of writing something fucked up myself is even funnier#i'm just talking about stuff i've witnessed happen to other people#also also also this kind of stuff literally applies to horror content too#which i much more my jam in the first place
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NOT A CHILL GIRL.
pairings: lewis hamilton x chronically online fiancée!yn
faceclaim: jordana brewster
summary: chronically online, funniest on the grid, and the proud owner of a face card that never declines—at least, according to yourself. your fiancé might raise an eyebrow at the first claim, the world might debate the second, but no one’s arguing with the third.
warnings: just jokes. don’t take any of this seriously.
author’s note: hope u enjoy bunny anon! :D
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liked by lewishamilton, yourinstagram and 187,938 others.
ham1ltonshaderoom: celebrity stylist, and fiancée of f1 legend lewis hamilton, yn yln took to instagram stories to share some concerning posts. what do we think about these captions, ham1ltons?
view all 23,837 comments
yourinstagram MAMA I MADE IT
— user1 yn you have dressed some of the top celebrities and this is what you’re excited over??
— user2 forget that. she’s fucking LEWIS HAMILTON!!! and this is what she’s excited over???
user3 this is a v tame post for yn LMFAO
— user4 like she’s posted worse 😭
user5 she’s so unserious i’m obsessed
— user6 my fav wag
user7 i love the fact she’s dressing zendaya, showing up to her hot fiancé’s races and still finds time to shitpost
— user8 she’s so me
user9 she should be embarrassed. she’s grown
— user10 she will never see this btw
user11 i need to know lewis’ thoughts on these posts
user12 she’s the moment. i want to be her so bad.
— user13 successful in her own right AND secured the bag. #needtoBEthat
────── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ──────
────── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ──────
INSTAGRAM LIVE
yn i’m using lewis’ ninja creami to make slushies and sydney isn’t picking up her phone because she’s on set. so entertain me, my little gladiators.
user1 what flavour slushie are you making and why is it pure tequila
yn no. it’s a margarita mix. mostly anyways. all about balance babes.
user2 worst red carpet outfit request you’ve ever gotten?
yn girl some actor asked me to dress him up in head to toe camo… i wanted to be sick.
user3 yn, when’s the wedding? lewis is literally ready to propose again.
yn not until jungkook confirms he’s off the market. i need to know i’m not leaving options on the table.
user4 did you see lando’s post underneath your birthday post to lewis.
yn i did and i’m angry. how dare he be funnier than me on my own shitpost.
user5 who’s better at gift-giving, you or lewis?
yn me. obviously. lewis once got me a pen because “it looked sleek.” it was a nice pen, but still a pen.
user6 yn, if you could style anyone in history, who would it be?
yn harry styles but in 2012. imagine the chaos if he let me near those blazers.
user7 how did you guys meet?
yn via a mutual friend at a party. i thought his choice of shoes was disastrous and he thought i was funny. so obviously i went home with him that night. then i fell in love or whatever.
user8 you are literally the blueprint for chaotic but lovable. never change.
yn never will, little gladiator. never will.
────── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ──────
────── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ──────
liked by yourinstagram, thirstystan1 and 1,098,125 others.
lewishamilton: sunday best, thank you theststyle
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yourinstagram why won’t this damn app swipe RIGHT?!?!?
— lewishamilton wrong app sweetheart
— yourinstagram oh shit 😓 can you show me how to download the right one? ever since ashley madison shut down and farmersonly.com banned me for “unsolicited flirting,” it’s been tough out here.
— lewishamilton maybe try clownsonly.com—heard they’re taking new members.
— yourinstagram wow. this from the guy who once googled “how to impress a bad bitch” and got caught.
— lewishamilton a bad bitch was impressed, wasn’t she? checkmate.
— yourinstagram yeah, well, don’t get used to it. also, happy valentine’s, loser. 💖
— lewishamilton happy valentine’s, clown. ❤️
— user1 y’all are some weirdos 😭🩷
user2 YN GIVE HIM TO MEEEEEE
user3 #NEEDTHAT
— yourinstagram #TOOBAD
— user3 YN PLEASE 😭😭😭😭😭😭
user4 need this relationship NOW
────── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ──────
────── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ──────
— all works taglist: @luvsforme @yelenasloverrrrr @donttouchthegnote @chelle1306 @bloodyymaryy @km-23mr @stinkyjax @f1kenzzz @ctrlyomomma @aliciaablueprint @theblueblub @namgification @tallrock35 @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @ariellovelynn @shhhchriss @lifeless-firefly @xylinasdiary @evie-119 @itseightbeats @landososcar @velentine @m1892 @blushmimi @evans-dejong @nixisracing @lethalvenus @sainzluvrr @santanasaintmendes @idontknowlmaoo @sainzluvrr @tetetoni @ssprayberrythings @heavy-vettel @tashisgf @daniskywalkersolo @c-losur3 @lestappenslover @linoscrly (see yourself tagged when you don’t wanna be? or you want to be and don’t see yourself? send me an ask!)
────── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ──────
#jayde’s works ☆#formula one x reader#f1 x reader#formula 1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 texts#f1 fanfic#formula one x female reader#lewis hamilton social media au#lewis hamilton x you#lewis hamilton x reader#lewis hamilton smau#lh44 smau#lh44 x reader#lh44 imagine#lewis hamilton fanfic#f1 x you#f1 fic#f1 smau
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Boss’ Daughter » Oscar Piastri
summary: despite being the daughter of mclaren ceo zak brown, f1 has never been an interest of yours. however, oscar is sure that he change your mind
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
liked by zbrownceo, landonorris and 27,492 others
ynbrown: thought I’d finally come and see what all the papaya hype is about after all these years 🧡🧡
2,696 comments
mclarenracing: it was nice to finally welcome you to the mtc yn 🧡
username1: how has it taken you this long to go to mclaren 😂
username2: how does it feel to have the world’s coolest dad??
username3: I hope you see why papaya is all the hype now
zbrownceo: see you in budapest at the weekend?? ✈️
ynbrown: @/zbrownceo you might’ve just convinced me…
username4: omg I want that jacket asap 🤯
landonorris: it was lovely to finally meet you after all these years 😀
ynbrown: @/landonorris at least I see why dad says you’re such a funny driver now 😂
username5: not zak singing the praises of his drivers to his daughter
username6: I wanna know what he says about oscar 😭
username7: secretly wishing that I could also be adopted by the brown family now to meet lando norris
oscarpiastri: don’t tell your dad, but you’re so much funnier than him 🤫
ynbrown: @/oscarpiastri secret is safe with me 🤭🤭🤭
username8: I can’t deal with all these interactions ahhh
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
liked by oscarpiastri, mclarenacing and 39,271 others
ynbrown: turns out f1 is actually pretty cool, first race weekend pending…✅
3,182 comments
username9: I can’t believe you’re actually going to a race 🥺
oscarpiastri: that’s a pretty cool hat that you’ve got yourself there…
ynbrown: @/oscarpiastri it’s amazing what you can find in lost property 😂
username10: the boss’ daughter really doesn’t care lmao 😂
username11: how has it taken you this long to fall in love with f1??
mclarenracing: dare we say team papaya has got themselves a new fan? 🧡
username12: she’s not just gone, she’s up close and personal with it all too 😭
landonorris: I hope this isn’t your way of saying you prefer osc to me 🤔
ynbrown: @/landonorris I could never have favourites 👼
username13: petition for mclaren to bring yn to every race forever starting now!!
username14: I love the fact yn actually has taken the time to get to know oscar and lando too ☺️
danielricciardo: I’m sure there’s still a number three hat around in that garage if you want to support a proper driver 😂
ynbrown: @/danielricciardo add one more and you’re talking my kind of driver number 🧡
username15: yn’s so clued up she knows their driver numbers too 🥺
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liked by landonorris, ynbrown and 138,291 others
mclarenracing: oscar handling the pressure of showing the boss’ daughter round the paddock like a pro 🏎️🧡
38,082 comments
username16: why does it feel like this should be titled oscar flirting with the boss’ daughter instead 🤔
zbrownceo: last time I checked that wasn’t in his schedule for this weekend…
username17: not oscar personally offering to show yn around 🤯
username18: it’s only two photos but they look like they get on well ☺️
landonorris: just like to point out that I did offer to take yn around for a tour too 😂😂
ynbrown: @/landonorris only one of you came through on your promise though 🤨
username19: that’s one way to get yourself a forever contract at mclaren 👏🏻
username20: are we all just gonna ignore the way that yn looks at him 🥺
ynbrown: best tour guide ever 🏆🏎️
username21: how much do I have to pay to get a personal tour from oscar too? 💰
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
liked by danielricciardo, alex_albon and 493,192 others
oscarpiastri: life recently has been pretty zesty 🌅☺️
57,121 comments
username22: whose making you smile that wide mr piastri?
alex_albon: standby ladies and gents as piastri enters his boyfriend era 🎉
username23: has THE oscar piastri finally got himself a girlfriend? 😭😭
charles_leclerc: nice to see you’ve listened to the tips your brother gave you 😂
oscarpiastri: @/charles_leclerc ofc I couldn’t have found a girl without your flirting tips 🙄
username24: not charles taking the credit for setting oscar up 🤦🏻♂️
danielricciardo: proud dad moment watching my son grow up 🤧
username25: I just want to know whose the lucky girl that gets to go on a date with oscar piastri 😂
landonorris: so this was your idea of busy when I offered to hang out tonight
oscarpiastri: @/landonorris sorry you’re so far down my list of priorities 🤨
username26: secretly it’s me sat at the other end of that table btw 😂
username27: I had not prepared myself for oscar springing a relationship onto us like that 😭
ynbrown: that’s a pretty stunning beach you’ve found yourself at 🌅
oscarpiastri: @/ynbrown wonder who could’ve recommend it to me…🤔
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
liked by landonorris, zbrownceo and 48,059 others
ynusername: perks of being the future ceo means you can get all the dodgy angles of the drivers 😂🧡
7,497 comments
username28: you cannot tell me that these two people are just friends wtf
zbrownceo: remember the days when you had no interest in f1, now look at you 🧡🏎️
ynbrown: @/zbrownceo I just pretend to like it to be one of the cool kids 😂
username29: thank you yn for exposing oscar like this 😂
username30: the smile of such an unbothered man ☺️☺️
oscarpiastri: I’d get the sack if I showed some of the photos that I have of you ffs
ynbrown: @/oscarpiastri perks of the job 👑
username31: I can’t imagine you can exactly tell the boss’ daughter to go away hahah
landonorris: suddenly I don’t mind being your second favourite mclaren driver if this is how you treat your first 😂
username32: why am I so invested in these two, they have no idea who I am 😂
mclarenracing: yn stop stealing admins job pls 🫶🏻
username33: I refuse to accept that anything other than a relationship is happening here!!
alex_albon: you might be a candidate for worst boss ever yn!
ynbrown: @/alex_albon it’s a title I’ll wear proudly ☺️
username34: oscar follows yn around everywhere, he’s definitely chasing her 😂😂
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
liked by username35, username36 and 2,583 others
f1gossip: several sources have shown oscar piastri getting particularly close to a female in the paddock. whilst our photos do not show a face, several eager eyed fans have been pointing the finger towards ceo zak brown’s daughter yn who seems to have struck up quite the friendship with the aussie…
472 comments
username37: imagine being so hot that you manage to date the boss’ daughter
username38: can we just talk about how awesome zak would be as a father in law too please 😂
username39: oscar, zak and yn is a trio I absolutely need in my life 🙌🏻
username40: ngl oscar doesn’t seem to be able to keep his hands off of yn these days
username41: there is no one in this world who actually believes that isn’t yn btw 😂
username42: clearly whatever charles has been teaching oscar to do has paid off!!
username43: his smile just seems to get bigger and bigger every time they’re photographed together 🥺
username44: I’ve not been this obsessed over two people for such a long time
username45: thank you yn for making our little pookie happy 🫶🏻
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
liked by ynbrown, charles_leclerc and 739,987 others
oscarpiastri: young driver of the year award with perfect company to finish the evening perfectly 🧡🏆
72,808 comments
charles_leclerc: when do I get to meet my future sister in law??
oscarpiastri: @/charles_leclerc I’m keeping you away for as long as I possibly can 😂
username46: look at my two favourite people 🩷🩷🩷🩷
alex_albon: I mean there was no doubt that you were gonna win tonight anyway 😂
username47: oscar piastri you scrub up very well sir 🔥🔥
aussiegrit: well done oscar! doing australia proud 🇦🇺
username48: which is the more impressive trophy, yn or the title??
georgerussell63: congrats my friend - looking forward to battling again next year!
ynbrown: could not be prouder of you, your hard work is admirable 💕💕
oscarpiastri: @/ynbrown thanks for being my hot date for the night 🥰
username49: oscar has fully converted yn into an f1 fan now 😂
landonorris: congrats osc, best team mate ever 🧡🧡
username50: osc 😭😭😭😭😭
username51: mclaren just seems like the most amazing place to work ever
mclarenracing: we are so incredibly proud of you, what an amazing season oscar 🧡🏎️
oscarpiastri: @/mclarenracing couldn’t have done it without my incredible team!
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
liked by georgerussell63, danielricciardo and 1,382,607 others
landonorris: I call this thread the faces of a man who has just had to admit to his boss that he is in fact dating his daughter 😂😂😂
173,068 comments
username52: turns out lando loves to expose oscar as much as yn does too 😂
ynbrown: he’s not even that scary, you wait until he finds out we’re sleeping together 😂
username53: I’d love to have been a fly on the wall for that conversation!!
carlossainz55: posts like these always remind me how much nicer my days are without you constantly annoying me anymore
danielricciardo: about time you started bullying a different aussie anyway 😂
username54: we all know how much zak loves oscar, I bet he was thrilled!
oscarpiastri: thank you for throwing me underneath the bus once again 🙄
username55: can just imagine zak trying his best to be an intimidating dad but he’s too soft for oscar 😂
georgerussell63: you’re the worst team mate ever sometimes hahah
username56: poor baby 😭
username57: as if yn will let her dad give oscar a hard time anyway!
zbrownceo: stop treating me future son in law like this norris 😡
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
liked by ynusername, zbrownceo and 688,381 others
oscarpiastri: turns out dating the boss’ daughter is a pretty cool job after all 🧡🥺
63,960 comments
username58: officially my new favourite post in the world 😭
ynbrown: dating a driver for my dad is a pretty cool thing too btw 💕🥺
oscarpiastri: @/ynbrown adore you!! 🫶🏻
username59: ahhhhh this makes me so happy
maxverstappen1: looking forward to seeing you at mclaren for the rest of your career now 😂
username60: thank you yn for making the decision to go and visit the mtc all those months ago 🙏🏻
pierregasly: mate you must have some serious game to pull the boss’ daughter!!
username61: thank you for not leaving us waiting forever and a day for confirmation 😂
landonorris: well this is just a little bit exciting…🥺
username62: still bitter that I’m not the ceo’s daughter and dating my favourite driver
carlossainz55: luckily for you your dating the daughter of one of the best bosses in f1 🧡
username63: yn really does have it all now doesn’t she 😝
charles_leclerc: I’m still waiting to be introduced 😂
oscarpiastri: @/charles_leclerc keep on waiting 😘
zbrownceo: I’ve still got my eye on you piastri 😂🧡
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗
#f1#f1 imagine#formula 1#oscar piastri#oscar piastri imagine#formula 1 x reader#f1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 x you#f1 fanfic#formula one#f1 reaction#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri smau#oscar piastri x reader#formula x reader#formula 1 social media#formula one drabble#formula 1 drabble#formula one x reader#formula one imagine#formula 1 fic#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 smau#formula one smau#f1 smau#f1 drabble#f1 x you#f1 fic
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how about old!logan with the filthiest mouth one could ever speak, full with nasty and degrading pet names. just rough and mean logan treating the reader 🫠🫠
note: this takes place in the Honda Odyssey… we can make the man filthier by the way…
———
“Well, you guys are fucking stupid, so, it’s not a surprise we’re lost,” y/n crossed her arms in the back seat as Wade drove through the woods, trying to get to the place Nicepool had me roomed for them to form a team.
“You ain’t the smartest sheep either. Batting your fuckin’ eyelids at Jonny,” Logan scoffed next to her before leaning back in his to rest.
After Wade had told him that there might not be a way to save his world, he’s been in a bad mood. Ever since she met him, he’s been in a bad mood.
“Yeah, but sadly he’s not here with us, right Wade?” Y/n sarcastically asked, making Wade sigh loudly. “He should have said those things about her!” Wade shouted.
“This whole trip is fucking ridiculous. Like seriously, Wade. Why the fuck did you bring me along to save this drunk fuck!?” Y/n complained, making Logan chuckle.
“To save your shitty world,” Logan said under his breath. “Hey! That’s my world too!” Wade argued. “Yeah — That’s why I said that shit,”
“Not like yours is better,” y/n mumbled, making Logan snap his head towards her. Y/n continued looking out of the window, not caring how he felt about her words.
“The fuck you say?” The man asked in a clearly angry tone. “Alright, let’s just cool our dicks and think about a place to eat at after we get out of this shit hole, hm?” Wade asked the two, but they both ignored him.
“Nah, I wanna hear what the little bitch has to say,” Logan called the young lady out of her name, making her snap his own neck at him. “Bitch!? No wonder you could never keep a woman. In every universe!” She shot for his heart.
“That’s something you don’t have to worry about because Ian pickin’ a little brat like you,” Logan tried saying something back in an instant like her comment didn’t hurt. He knew calling her out of her name was shitty, but he’s going through it right now.
The man was pulled from his universe being told he had a chance to save it. Not even two hours later, he was told it was an educated wish.
“Not like you can get in my pants anyways limp dick,” y/n spat, making the man chuckle. He was cocky. He always has been, and his age wasn’t going to throw that away.
“You’re an easy little girl. You would even be able to handle me,” the man looked the girl up and down, giving a look that made her roll her eyes. “You fuckin’ wish,” she said before turning back to the window.
“Oh, honey bun, he does! Maybe y’all can fuck it out in here before we make it home. Got a long way to go,” Wade almost sang.
The two went silent, not declining or accepting. They were just angry, and Wade swore having a small fuck-session would help.
Y/n felt eyes on her through the silence. She told herself not to look back, but she had to. She wanted to see the man’s face, and god, was he fine. She hated admitting to it, but he was.
The way he looked at her legs, made her shift in her seat, growing nervous from the older man’s gaze.
“As I said — Little girl can’t handle it,” Logan finally looked up at the girl with a smirk, smelling the way she grew wet in seconds, and she didn’t know he could. She was clueless which made the situation funnier to him.
“I can handle more than you think. Your dick probably wouldn’t be able to stand up anyway, so stop lookin’ at me like that you perv,” y/n tried covering her legs, but there was no use.
“Oh, go fuck yourself,” the man rolled his eyes as he leaned back in his seat. “Do it yourself, coward,” y/n said under her breath. She thought she was quiet enough until his head snapped back at her and Wade gasped.
“Oh, you nasty little peanut,” Wade giggled. “Oh, you want me to fuck you?” Logan asked, giving that stupid smirk again. “What!? I never said that,” y/n lied, trying to think of something to stop this conversation.
“Oh, but you did, bub,” Logan felt like he was shifting closer, but y/n kept her eyes off of him. “Don’t go silent on me now, bub. If you need a little cock to fix that attitude, I can do it,”
The instant confidence he had, made the girl nervous. What the fuck is she going to do?
“Don’t need cock,” the girl spoke quietly. “I think you do,” the man’s hand was now on the grips thighs, gripping it a bit rough to get a reaction.
Y/n turned and swung, going to hit the man somewhere, but he got her fist and pushed it away before hovering over her body.
“You’re feisty for a girl who’s soaking wet,” the man said, confusing y/n. “You can smell her that bad!?” Wade asked, wanting to know if all. “Oh, yeah, and she smells sweet,” Logan admitted as his hands tugged on her belt.
“Let’s see if I’m right,” Logan ripped y/n’s belt off and shorts down her legs, exposing her pretty lace panties. “Logan! Fuckin’ get off!” Y/n fought back, but he knew she could do better.
“You sure? Kinda looks a little messy down here,” the man laughed at her girl as he spews her legs, seeing the dark spot grow. Before she could say another word, he ripped her panties off, making her yell at him more.
“Pretty little cunt. Maybe if you weren’t so bitchy, I’d eat it, but I have different plans for you today,” Logan wiped a finger across her lips before taking them to his mouth to suck.
“Yep — Sweeter than peach, Wade. Didn’t know you had sluts as friends,” Logan laughed again as he fumbled with his own belt. “Logan!” Y/n still shouted, kicking and slapping but he had his single hand pinning her shoulder down.
“Look on the bright side, peanut — You’ll get some dick and maybe that’ll energize you for our fight?” Wade said about anything to hide the fact he loved hearing Logan get the way he gets.
“Fuck you, Wade!” Y/n yelled at the man. “Nah uh, only I do that to you,” y/n almost forgot about Logan until she looked down, seeing his cock out in his head, stoking and leaking pre cum.
“Got me so fuckin’ hard. You know how good you look fighting? How pretty you are yappin’ that damn mouth? Could only think about you under me -- where you belong,”
Logan struggled but made his way in between her legs. “Fuck you! Fuck you, a-and Wade! You’ll last two seconds,” y/n tried laughing at the man to seem tough as usual, but he shut her right up with a hard thrust into her cunt.
“What was that? Two seconds? If I lasted a short time, it’s because this cunts so fuckin’ soaked, not because I’m old, baby,”
Y/n’s hands pushed at the man’s stomach, trying to slow him down and stop him from pushing hitting the right spot with each thrust he gave.
“S-Stop!” The girl whined already, feeling the knot in her stomach build and her breathing get spotty. He was huge and hard. Harder than she thought a man his age could be.
“Don’t think you want that, baby. No, you want me to fuck this pretty little girl till she cried and leaks on the seat,” Logan whispered in her ear as his own breath became heavy.
“God, you guys are hot. Love the play date you guys are having! Maybe give me a review after the Uber ride. Tell me if the seats felt comfy and if y’all had enough room to fuck like rabbits with rabies,” Wade seemed excited.
“Hear that, babe? Gonna tell Wade how good I fuck this pussy? C’mon, tell him. Tell him how hard your squeeze my cock,”
Y/n hated his cock voice in her ear but loved it at the same time. He knew exactly how she’d like it. Maybe by her attitude, he knew she needed someone with the same energy to pound her.
“No c-chance,” the girl stuttered through her teeth as she tried glaring at the man, but her head instantly fell back after he gave one small pound, telling her to get rid of the attitude.
“You’re gonna do it eventually. Sluts like you can’t forget a good cock,” and he was right. This was going to be the best sed she’s had ever.
“Gonna go beggin’ Wade to come get me to fuck you. Shit, since I have to stay in the bullshit you call your world, I’ll just come over to your place myself. Burry my cock in this cunt till you pass out,”
“L-Logan,” y/n dug her nails into the man’s shoulders, trying to hold tight as her orgasm felt near. “Oh, you like that? Like the thought of a dirty old man fuckin’ this so-called clean pussy, hm? Gonna let me breed this little princess whenever I want? Even if I piss you off?”
“N-No, you fucking suck at this!” Y/n breathed heavily, keeping her orgasm together so she wouldn’t give him what she wanted.
“God, she’s fuckin’ petty,” Wade said as Logan let out a little chuckle. The man shifted in the van, lifting her legs over his shoulders before punching his right claw into the roof of the van.
Y/n jumped, not used to having a mutant like him around. “Don’t worry, princess. I wouldn’t hurt a pretty girl like you. Too valuable and tight,” Logan grabbed between the back of y/n’s head and neck to lift her to, fixing her to lean into him.
“Before I fuck you ass dumb, do you want to take anything you said back?” Logan looked down at the girl whose legs rested on his shoulder and cock grazed her entrance, waiting to be squeezed again.
“You fuck like a dead pig,” y/n spat. Right after, the man took one good slam into her, watching her legs part and scream. Logan pulled her head back up, making her look into his dark eyes.
“Loudmouth for a loud screamer,” the man smirked before moving his hips, thrusting into the girl with all the strength he had. He pulled her back to life whenever she tried pushing away or leaning her head back.
“Good fuckin’ pussy — Fuck! — Maybe I’ll excuse that bitch tone of yours,” the man couldn’t deny his could she felt and sounded.
Before, y/n thought she could hold herself in, but she knew Logan would get what he wanted in this new angle and harder pounding. He knew this from the start.
“C’mon, bub — I know you wanna cum. Keep squeezing around me like I wouldn’t notice,” he laughed at her. Teasing he. “N-Not cumming,” y/n assured the man, but even Wade didn’t believe her.
“I can see how the man has you in a full-on butter-salted pretzel position. You’re cumming, peanut,” Wade said, only egging Logan on knowing anyone who looked at her right now could tell she was close.
“No, I’m not!” Y/n pathetically whined. Logan leaned down to the girl's face, slightly touching her lips as his hot breath burned her nostrils.
“Don’t cum then, bub,” Logan said as he picked up his pace. “Don’t cum, and you win. You win your little bitch fight, and we can move on with our day,” Logan kept increasing.
“Don’t cum, and you’re right about my limp old dick,” Logan now growled. “Don’t cum, and I won’t come into your little home and eat that pussy,” y/n eyes rolled back as his hands dug into the back of her neck.
“Don’t cum, and I won’t fuck you like this every day to satisfy your needs, baby. Don’t cum, and I’ll have to leave this pretty little body alone forever,”
“Can’t breed it. Can’t kiss it. Can’t pound it. Can’t do anything I want to it,” y/n whined loudly at the man’s words, finally releasing the man’s cock.
“That’s what I fuckin’ thought. You need me. You fuckin’ want this old dick,” Logan’s lips crashed into her, kissing her roughly as she cried at the pace he kept ducking her in.
“Goddam, she cums a lot!” Wade said with excitement, loving the animal coming out of Logan. He knew y/n needed something like this in his life. That totally isn’t the reason why he brought her along.
“So fuckin’ good, baby. Best fuckin’ cunt I’ve fucked. So damn tight and sweet. Need you after all this. Needa have you with me forever,”
Y/n didn’t plan for this to happen. She doesn’t plan to let Logan fuck her like this in the back of Nicepools Honda Odyssey. She didn’t plan for Logan to form an attachment issue with her.
“Gonna cum, baby. Gonna fill this girl up. Gonna keep you with me forever. Can’t leave. Don’t care how old I am, you belong with me. You’re made for me. Pussy’s molded to only take my cock,”
Logan’s hips bucked a few times before he pushed all the way into the young girl, spilling into her with a loud animalistic groan.
The top of the roof was ripped with how many times his claws punched in and out of it. Logan’s fingers bruised the back of y/n’s neck. Her lips even have a small scratch from the hard he kissed. She tastes so fucking good.
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